Top 7 Most Ridiculous Hate Crime Hoaxees...

by Revolver.News

Among the American cosmopolitan left, the demand for hate crimes has always badly outpaced the supply.

The latest in a long and endless list of proofs for this thesis comes from Michigan’s Albion College. The college itself is a small liberal arts school, nestled in a town that voted more than 70 percent for Joe Biden last November. The chances that Albion, Michigan, is secretly a hotbed of KKK-style racism are not slim. They are zero, nonexistent.

The hatemongering Black Lives Matter activists of the college simply couldn’t handle the lack of racist hate crimes on campus. So one BLM activist at Albion College who wanted to give his life meaning decided to create a hoax. Unfortunately for that student, while it’s easy to fake a hate crime, it’s harder to trick the police.

Wow, absolutely shocking — how remarkable to think that phrasing like “We do exist KKK” would be fake.

Washington Examiner provides more details.

A black student has admitted to tagging a Michigan college with racist graffiti in an apparent hoax that prompted protests and outrage from school administrators, police said.

Albion Department of Public Safety and Albion College confirmed that a student was responsible for the April 2 graffiti vandalism that left the phrases “KKK,” “White Power,” and “Die N—— Please” on a university wall. The 21-year-old, who has yet to be named, was released after questioning on Tuesday, and possible charges will be left to the discretion of the Calhoun County Prosecutor’s Office once the investigation is complete.

“Earlier today, we identified the individual responsible for the racist and anti-Semitic graffiti in Mitchell Towers,” the university wrote in a Wednesday tweet. “The student, who was acting alone, acknowledged their responsibility for these incidents. They have been immediately removed from campus and placed on temporary suspension while we conduct a full investigation as part of our student judicial process.”

…

although police confirmed the suspect’s race and gender, the school initially did not. Instead, the 1,475-student liberal arts college 100 miles west of Detroit insisted in a statement that the acts were racist and rooted in the school’s history of “racial pain and trauma.”

“But we know the acts of racism that have occurred this week are not about one particular person or one particular incident,” Albion College wrote. “We know that there is a significant history of racial pain and trauma on campus and we are taking action to repair our community. We will change and heal together as a community, because we are committed to doing the work.

However, when pressed by the Washington Examiner, the school acknowledged it had identified a “student of color” as the perpetrator in the incident. The college added that information related to the offense was turned over to police. [Washington Examiner]

Of course, everyone with a brain suspected this attack was fake from the beginning. The only people dim enough to think it was real were college administrators and white liberals. The truth is, attacks motivated purely by racial animus are uncommon, and those committed by “privileged” whites are even less so. And those that happen at tiny liberal arts colleges in deep blue towns are practically nonexistent.

But for those raised on endless tales of lynchings, fire hoses, Emmett Till and the Birmingham church bombing, modern America’s racial tolerance is an existential problem.

Without hate crimes to be the victim of, why even live? Some have taken that question to its natural conclusion, and simply invented the crimes outright.

Here are seven of Revolver’s favorite hate crime hoaxes.

7. Jordan Brown’s Big Gay Cake

Pastor Jordan Ryan

In 2016, the Rev. Brown sued a grocery store after he said his “Love Wins” cake was delivered with an unwanted extra word.

There were immediate red flags. Brown hadn’t exactly bought the cake from Proud Klansman 1488 Bakery. He bought it from a Whole Foods in Austin, Texas, which is somewhere between Greenwich Village and a Lady Gaga music video in terms of likelihood to harbor anti-gay extremists.

To its credit, Whole Foods immediately called Brown a liar and countersued, which is better than many companies today would do in the face of obvious hoaxes. A month later, Brown admitted the truth and slunk away in shame.

6. Madonna Constantine

Constantine wins a spot on the list for so excellently showcasing one of the most common motivation for hate hoaxes: A pathetic need to use racial victimhood to avoid getting in trouble for other bad behavior.

Constantine, a Columbia University Teachers College professor, was caught plagiarizing her own students, as well as several fellow faculty members. With the walls closing in around her, Constantine sought refuge in victimhood. In October 2007, Constantine “found” a noose hanging in her office.

Almost immediately, the FBI and DOJ dispatched personnel to investigate this extremely serious crime, while Constantine basked in her new status as hate crime victim:

“People have cried in class,” said Dr. Constantine, 44, a professor of psychology and education who specializes in the study of how race and racial prejudice can affect clinical and educational interactions.

“Uncovering those issues, students often get to a place where it can be painful.” In an interview in her office, a suite peppered with academic tomes and mugs from psychology conferences, Dr. Constantine said she remained mystified over who could be responsible for leaving a noose dangling on her office door at Teachers College this week.

“I really don’t have any idea of who could have done that,” she said. “Is there anything that I’ve experienced that’s close? I would say no.” [New York Times]

Constantine’s gambit didn’t work, though. While police were mysteriously unable to find a suspect for the noose in her office, Columbia continued its investigation, and in 2008 it fired Constantine for her repeated plagiarism. Even then, Constantine refused to crack. She said that for every plagiarism allegation brought against, her the real plagiarist was her accuser, and both Columbia and the law firm hired to investigate her were colluding to deprive her of a job? Why? Just racism, of course. In 2009, Constantine sued Columbia for $200 million. Her case, mercifully, was dismissed. Nobody ever found out who put the noose there. But in Revolver’s opinion, the perpetrator is perfectly obvious.

5. The Albany Clinton Bamboozlers…